Four Sleepless Nights
by LoonRider
Summary: The Riders of the Hikari Photo Studio each have their own nightmares. Fortunately, they're always there to comfort each other.
1. Tsukasa

**Lookit me making a new fic instead of working on my ongoings. All four chapters of this have been flitting around my head and blocking my creativity for a while now so I figured I'd let them out. Also S/O to Tumblr user Momoryou (username at time of publication) and this site's own EstelRaca for being partially responsible for this fic with their Decade liveblog and fic "Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep", respectively.**

Spoilers: End of series. References events in both movies.

#

He woke up, for probably the fifth time in as many hours, feeling cold and sick. There had always been nights like this, when half-remembered dreams told him that his unreliable, amnesia-plagued mind was once again taunting him with things beyond his reach. He'd thought they would stop after they found his world, after the waking nightmare that whole experience had been for all of them, but they hadn't. He'd thought they would stop after the Rider War, after he'd finally given in to the twisted destiny the other Riders, like and unlike those he'd met and befriended, had designed for him, but they hadn't. Now they just taunted him with what he _still_ didn't remember, and haunted him with what he did.

Sighing, Tsukasa rolled onto his back and rested an arm over his eyes. Was it too early to just get up? Probably. He didn't even hear Eijiro in the kitchen downstairs. If it was too early for the old man to be up preparing breakfast, it was too early for Tsukasa to even be conscious. "This sucks."

"Tsukasa?" He flinched despite himself, though didn't move his arm away from his eyes. Yuusuke's voice was soft, concerned but unwilling to push. "Is something wrong?"

"... Nah." Tsukasa knew he'd left too many seconds between the question and the answer for Yuusuke to believe him, but he still turned his back on his roommate and pulled his blankets up closer to his chin. "Go back to sleep."

They stayed like that for a while, Yuusuke knowing Tsukasa was lying, Tsukasa pretending he didn't feel the eyes on his back. Yuusuke had his own problems, Tsukasa knew. He'd heard the other Rider wake in the night, crying as quietly as possible. Though Yuusuke never spoke of what scared him awake, Tsukasa could guess. He didn't need to add to that, not when Rising Ultimate Kuuga still made appearances in his own nightmares.

At least Kaito wasn't around to be a pest about Tsukasa not sleeping, though nowadays it seemed like he was at the studio more often than away from it. Or maybe that was just how it felt to Tsukasa. Either way, he didn't wonder where Kaito went when he wasn't with them. He probably got up to no good, and Tsukasa wasn't about to give the thief the satisfaction of being thought of when he was away.

"Hey, Tsukasa?" Yuusuke's voice nearly made him jolt, but he controlled the impulse immediately. A lack of reply didn't stop Yuusuke from carrying on, unfortunately. "Where do you think we'll go next?"

Not what he'd expected to hear, and he actually caught himself thinking about it. They had planned to change the photo background in the morning, but the idea of choosing their destination hadn't come up. "Who knows," was all he could come up with.

A rustle of fabric told him Yuusuke had turned to face him. "We could go back to a world we've already been to, see how Wataru or Kazuma's doing." They hadn't seen Wataru since the conclusion of the Rider War, Kazuma since even before that. It was an interesting idea... "Or we could visit your sister."

The mention of Sayo brought both warm and cold feelings to Tsukasa's heart. Warm, because she was his little sister and she had finally found the courage to spread her wings. Cold, because Yuusuke sounded like he didn't even care that he was suggesting going to see someone who had brainwashed him into a psychotic weapon. Then again, Yuusuke had forgiven _Tsukasa_ , so maybe forgiving Sayo wasn't that far-fetched. He sighed, rolled onto his back so he could glance at the other Rider through the corner of his eye. "She's on a journey of her own. I want to give her more time." And he did. But he also didn't want to find out if there were any remnants of Shocker hanging around his world, gunning for the ones who'd wrecked their organization. He didn't give Yuusuke a chance to speculate, though. "Anyway, we'll probably end up somewhere new, and then have to save whoever lives there. Again."

Yuusuke laughed, muffled it with his hand, and even in the late-night dark of their room Tsukasa could see he was grinning. "You're probably right, but what's wrong with that? We'll make more friends." He stretched, tucking one arm under his head, not looking away from Tsukasa. "Wherever we go, it's fine, right? It's all our world."

Despite himself, Tsukasa smiled. The journey was his world. Yuusuke, Natsumi, Eijiro... and, yes, fine, even Kaito and Kivala. They were his world. His nightmares didn't change that. "Right," he said aloud, though it was punctuated with a yawn. "Now get some sleep. Wherever we end up tomorrow, it'll be a lot more enjoyable if we get shut-eye first."

He heard Yuusuke's smile in the man's next words. "Goodnight, Tsukasa."

"Goodnight."

And this time, he didn't dream.


	2. Natsumi

**Unseen's next chapter still isn't cooperating, so here's more Decade fluff! Something I forgot to say in Tsukasa's chapter is that these four nights aren't all in a row, just random, but they do all take place after Movie Wars 2010.**

#

"Tsukasa...!"

What had been a yell in her dream was a choked whisper when she snapped back into reality. Natsumi swallowed the sob that tried to follow it, sat up, and wiped away the tears that had already dampened part of her pillow. Hugging her knees, she stared down at her blanket-covered feet, though it was already a blurry sight. She wiped her eyes on the blanket over her knees before resting her forehead there. More tears came. She gave up getting rid of them.

When her dreams of the Rider War had made her cry before she even knew what a Rider was, she hadn't understood. Now, dreaming again and again of what she'd had to do to end that war, she ached for the days when the dream was just an oddity and the worst part of her day was dealing with the backlash from Tsukasa's failed photographs.

Her body shuddered with another sob, but the tears were slowing. She sighed, wiping away the last of them and pushing her blankets down. She needed water, both to drink and to wash her face. The tear trails were already drying into stiff salt lines on her skin, and she rubbed at one as she passed the boys' room. Then she paused, pressed her ear to the door. Soft snoring. Slowly, carefully, she slid the door open a crack, just wide enough to see in. The snoring was coming from Daiki, lying on his back with his right hand under his pillow and his left on top of the blankets. It was about as peaceful as she'd ever seen him, and she wondered if he always slept like that or if it had something to do with being in the studio. Yuusuke, she knew, was comfortable at home. He slept on his side, both hands holding his blankets close to his chin.

On Daiki's other side, Tsukasa's futon was empty. ... That wasn't right. It was nearly 11. Tsukasa usually went to bed after she did, but not this late. So where was he? The images from her nightmare were still fresh, but she shook her head. Tsukasa was fine, had been fine for over a month, ever since they'd brought him back.

But what if he wasn't?

Not even pausing to close the door, Natsumi turned and dashed back past her room and down the stairs. Once out into the hall of the studio, she first glanced toward the front door before dismissing the possibility and turning instead to open the door to the main studio and living room.

And there he was, lounging on the couch as he so often was. He turned to her, a single blink the only sign of surprised before he spoke. "Natsumikan, looking for a snack? Sweets after bedtime cause pimples, you know."

She didn't even register the teasing, too swept up in her flood of relief at seeing him. "Tsukasa... you're here."

His head tilted, eyes narrowing at her as if she'd just sprouted a third eye. "Where else would I be?"

"I thought you..." She stopped, suddenly self-conscious. The panic of seconds before seemed childish now, and she shook her head, mustered a smile. "Nevermind. Why are you still up? Can't you sleep?"

"Haven't gone upstairs yet." Turning his gaze to the window, he beckoned her toward him. "Seems like this world's having a meteor shower tonight. Come look."

"A meteor shower?" So they'd actually come to a world in time to see something pleasant. That was a change. She walked to his side, tried to lean down to get a good view of the sky, failed in that and instead sat on the couch next to his legs. The studio had landed near the edge of a town, far enough from any light pollution that their view of the sky was amazing, with streaks of silver streaming across the cloud-spotted blackness, sometimes two or three at a time. "Wow..."

As she shuffled around, trying to find a position that was both comfortable and optimal for viewing, Tsukasa sighed. "Stop squirming." He reached out and pulled her down to lie with him. The end result was both of them stretched on the couch, their legs curled on one end while his torso sheltered hers, fitting her head on his shoulder. His left arm supported them on the arm of the couch, his right slung loose over her shoulder. "How's that?"

Of course he asked her that _after_ he'd pulled her down without permission. Still, she could see clearly out the window, and there was something about being able to feel Tsukasa's chest moving as he breathed, hear his heartbeat, that was comforting. "It's fine," was all she said.

They watched the stars fall in silence only broken by the occasional murmur of appreciation. Natsumi wondered if their friends in the other worlds could see this same meteor shower, the same time they were watching it. It never seemed like the sky was different, wherever they were. Maybe that was another thing that connected all the worlds, just like the bridges made by their travels or the hearts of heroes like the Riders or the Sentai warriors. Maybe that was just wishful thinking.

She became aware of how tired she was gradually, her eyes slipping shut for several seconds at a time. After the fifth time of forcing them open again, she shifted a bit to look up and found Tsukasa looking down at her in turn. He smiled, the little mocking twist in his lips belied by the warmth she saw in his eyes before he looked away. "Sleep, Natsumikan. I'm not going anywhere."

So she did.

And when she woke up, he was still there, asleep right next to her.


	3. Yuusuke

**It's interesting to write Onodera after watching Godai... sorry this chapter took so long! Part computer problems, part personal stuff, part "oops Loon watched 49 episodes of Kuuga and forgot to write."**

 **But on the plus side, look forward to Kuuga fic in future?**

#

He woke in cold sweat, his fingers in a death-grip on his blankets. For several long seconds, all he could do was lay there and shiver. When the tremors subsided, he slowly unclenched his hands and exhaled. He looked around. The broken and body-strewn streets, the empty factory, and the dimly-lit mansion were all gone, replaced by the comforting walls of a bedroom on the Hikari Photo Studio's second floor. The screams and the thudding of flesh had been replaced by the slow, measured breathing of Tsukasa, sleeping a few feet away. They were both alive, safe, sane, and home.

The faint glow of early sunrise coming in their window allowed Yuusuke to see the neatly folded bedding against the wall, between his bed and Tsukasa's. Kaito was awake, then. From day one, he'd seen the thief as the fastidious sort, and his increased presence in the studio had only cemented that impression. Listening hard, he could hear the faint sounds coming from the kitchen, Kaito's sounds. He was always a little bit quieter than Eijiro.

Well, not like he was getting back to sleep. He pushed aside his blankets, making a mental note to return to fold up his bedding later, and got up. Tsukasa shifted, tensing in his sleep, but Yuusuke moved as quietly as he could, opening the door just wide enough for himself and closing it as gentle as a breeze. He wondered how Kaito managed to slip out without waking them. Riders weren't heavy sleepers, but then again the man was a thief. Maybe he did have some subtlety to him.

The noise was clearer once he got downstairs, and when he stepped into the living room he didn't even blink when Kaito peeked out past the dividing wall. "You're up early, Onodera."

"So are you." Yuusuke summoned his best smile, pulling out a chair so he could sit facing Kaito without being in the way. "Wanted to win the race to make breakfast?" Not that it was ever a contest. If Kaito was at home and wanted to cook, he was always up before Eijiro.

Kaito shrugged. "Wanted to give the old man a break."

There wasn't much more to say, so Yuusuke settled into watching Kaito cook, chopping and boiling and mixing as if he'd done this a hundred times. Hell, maybe he had. Yuusuke could certainly count over two dozen times Kaito had cooked for them, at least, and who knew how often the thief had cooked for himself or others before they'd met.

"Kaito, do you ever think about the past?" The question was out before Yuusuke even realized he'd decided to speak. When Kaito turned to look at him, he fixed his own eyes on his hands, clasped on the table. "I mean... about what's happened, because of what you did... or what you couldn't do..."

Silence. He wanted to take the words back, to say he wasn't serious, but there was no way to do that. He expected Kaito to brush it off, to laugh, maybe, but the other man didn't, and then he saw Kaito's leg next to the table, the other Rider having moved closer, though not reaching out to him. Yuusuke looked up, and Kaito's eyes met his with no judgement. "Is that why you can't sleep?"

He couldn't keep eye contact, not with Kaito looking at him like that. Dropping his gaze again, he couldn't even find the words to answer, to admit that even though most days he was doing okay, getting better, there were still so many nights where he couldn't stop the images. Tsukasa's blood on Kuuga's hands, innocent civilians screaming, because Yuusuke hadn't been strong enough to stop them taking control of him, because he'd encouraged Tsukasa to open that damn door in the first place. Natsumi crying, Tsukasa fighting, Rider against Rider, Kuuga against Decade, because Yuusuke had chosen to side with men who said Tsukasa had to die, men he'd never met, instead of trying to understand why Tsukasa had become the Destroyer.

Eventually Kaito left his side, went back to the counter where the eggs waited to be whipped for the omelettes, though he didn't touch them, instead leaning his hands on the counter. "I try not to," he said finally, his voice just loud enough for Yuusuke to hear. "It doesn't help anyone to dwell on what you can't change, unless it's something you can learn from. But... I think everybody does it, sometimes. It's not weak to wish you _could_ change things."

 _You're not weak_ was hidden in that last sentence, Yuusuke knew. He also knew, or at least suspected, that Kaito wouldn't have said that if they weren't alone. The thought made him smile, warmed a part of him that had felt cold since his nightmare. "I guess not."

The moment lingered a little longer, and then Kaito cleared his throat and straightened up, picking up the eggs to crack them into the waiting bowl. "You prefer extra mirin and sugar, right?"

Yuusuke blinked. "Eh?"

"I'll make your favourites today." Kaito smiled at him over his shoulder as he started mixing the separate seasoning bowl.

The surprise that Kaito even knew his favourite foods faded after only a second, and Yuusuke smiled again, getting up from his chair. "Alright. Can I help?"

"Sure." Kaito poured the seasoning mix into the whipped eggs and slid the bowl to Yuusuke as he got to the counter. "Stir that a bit while I oil the pan."

Yuusuke obeyed, carefully whisking the mixture, knowing enough about cooking to know he shouldn't stir it too much. He paused to watch Kaito dip a bit of paper towel in oil to run along the bottom and sides of the pan. "... Thanks, Kaito."

This time Kaito did shrug, as if he had no idea what Yuusuke was talking about. But as the other Rider took the bowl from him and tested a tiny bit of the mixture in the pan, Yuusuke knew that no matter the past, they would get through the future together.

#

Ah, Kaito. He's not the best at comforting but he tries. For the loveable doofs he travels with, he tries.

Googled quite a bit about cooking for this and only used about 10% of it, sigh. "Mirin", for the record, is a sweet rice wine similar to sake, but the alcohol content is lower and the sugar content is higher. I feel like Yuusuke is a fan of the sweeter things.

One more to go!


	4. Kaito

**Woo. Spent three days straining my way through an application writing sample for Bioware. Wish me luck! Now we're on to the final part of this little quartet!**

#

Maybe he'd let his guard down. It was hard to have nightmares when you slept so lightly it barely qualified as rest. He still slept lightly at the studio, of course, would still wake at the smallest sound out of place, but it wasn't enough. Whatever allowed him to keep returning here, whatever made it okay to sleep in the same place over and over, make himself vulnerable in a habit that was dangerously close to being predictable, it also allowed his demons to catch up to him.

He woke with a start, pulling DienDriver out from under his pillow and sitting up in the same motion. It took only seconds to assess the room: Yuusuke on his left, Tsukasa on his right, no one and nothing else that could posssibly be a threat, as safe as it had ever been. It took several seconds longer to convince his pulse to slow down, and even then he was still flooded with enough adrenaline to run a marathon.

Then, sound! The door slid along its track, and DienDriver was levelled at the growing opening before Kaito's brain caught up with his reflexes and recognized the one standing there. He lowered the gun, sighed. "You should really knock, Natsumelon."

"Sorry." There wasn't even a trace of unease in her voice, let alone fear that he might have shot her. They'd long past that point. Actually, he wasn't sure she'd ever thought him capable of harming people outside of battle. Her left hand rose to rub her eyes, stifle a yawn. "I heard you wake up."

Even from her room, through the wall? He glanced at his roommates, suddenly sure they weren't nearly as asleep as they seemed to be. After a second he realized Natsumi was waiting for an answer, though his eyes were on DienDriver, sitting in his lap, as he mumbled, "My bad," and resumed watching Tsukasa and Yuusuke for signs of faking.

He wasn't going to catch them at it if they were determined, though. Shoving Diend back under his pillow, he moved to lie back down. Only that gave him the angle to see the blanket and pillow clutched in Natsumi's right hand. She didn't say anything, but he only hesitated for a moment before turning onto his side and shuffling forward, opening a space between himself and Tsukasa. Their mattresses were pretty much edge-to-edge anyway, so it was easy for Natsumi to settle into the gap. He heard her blanket rustle as she got comfortable, and then he felt her close against his back, not quite touching him.

"Are you okay, Daiki?"

What kind of question was that? "Fine."

More rustling sounds, and he knew she was propping herself on an elbow, but he kept his back to her. "You were having nightmares."

He did _not_ want to talk about this. He pulled closer into himself, tightening his hold on Diend's familiar, reassuring grip. "Don't we all?"

Maybe that was an unfair way to respond to her concern, but he didn't care. It was too early for this, too early for even him to be up and about making breakfast, avoiding nightmares or the too-gentle worry of this damn conversation. He felt her pull away from him, just slightly, and then she sighed. He could feel her breath on his hair. "I guess."

Now she sounded sad, and he pushed down the absurd sense of guilt that tried to worm past his annoyance. Why did he have to feel guilty? She'd started it. She'd asked the question when all he wanted to do was pretend it didn't happen, so... So... aw, damn it. He glanced over his shoulder, just enough to see that she'd lowered herself back to her pillow, that she was still watching him. He turned away again. "I'm fine, Natsumi. It's still early. We should sleep."

A grunt of assent from Natsumi's other side. "And if you're not going to, you could at least leave the room."

He resisted the urge to look at Tsukasa. "I knew you weren't sleeping."

"Not any more, and if you two don't shut up and let me get back to it, I'm gonna throw you both out." He would have sounded like he meant it if the words weren't slurred by lingering half-sleep.

And from the way Natsumi giggled, she wasn't particularly intimidated either. "Okay, okay. Goodnight, Tsukasa. Goodnight, Daiki."

Another grunt from Tsukasa, and Kaito couldn't help smiling, just a little. "Goodnight, Natsumelon."

He pressed himself into his pillow, tried to will himself back to sleep, but something blocked him. It wasn't fear. It was just... practicality. What was the point of going back to sleep if the dreams would just wake him up in five minutes? But then, what was the point of staying awake when it was still ridiculously early and with nothing to do but think himself in circles about the dream's content?

He opened his eyes again in time to see the blanket mound in front of him shift, Yuusuke rolling over to face him. Without opening his eyes or giving any other indicator he was awake, the younger Rider murmured, half into his pillow, "It's not weak, remember?"

Kaito blinked, stared, but Yuusuke didn't move again or say anything else, and only the fact that Natsumi and Tsukasa had probably already fallen back asleep, and had no idea that conversation had even taken place, made it even remotely okay that Yuusuke had said that in their company.

It wasn't that Kaito appreciated it. It _definitely_ wasn't that he'd maybe needed to hear that.

Telling himself that about three times over, Kaito finally let himself surrender to sleep.

—

The heat woke him. It didn't take long to figure out why: Yuusuke was pressed close enough against his chest that there wasn't a milimetre of space between them, their blankets having somehow gotten tangled in such a way as to allow direct contact between their skin. Yuusuke ran barely hotter than a normal human when not fighting, but in close proximity, with blankets trapping the heat and Natsumi close behind him (and in the same situation, blanket-wise), it was less comfy. He wormed a little, managed to push the blankets down away from his shoulders.

There was a moan of protest from behind, and something tightened around his waist. Natsumi's arm, the only point on his torso where he and Yuusuke weren't touching. How the hell was Natsumi still asleep? Sure, she didn't have Kamen Rider Heating Pad glued to her chest, but she was caught between Kaito's body and Tsukasa's. Maybe she was just better at cuddling than he was.

The first light of dawn was starting to peek into the room. Acceptable time for him to be up, then. He squirmed again, and Natsumi's arm tightened again. So did Yuusuke's, which was thrown over him and probably partially over Natsumi as well. He groaned. This was ridiculous. "I can't cook if you guys don't let me go."

Something knocked into his shin. It took only a second to realize it was one of Tsukasa's ridiculous spider-legs (and seriously, how did _anyone_ have legs that amazing?), stretched across to trap his lower body the same way Natsumi and Yuusuke had trapped his upper. "So don't. The old man can cook today. Stop wriggling." He could tell from Tsukasa's voice that the man still wasn't 100% awake.

He made one more attempt to wiggle free, but it was half-hearted. He knew a losing battle when he saw one, and these three were determined, for whatever reason, not to let him move for at least another hour.

It wasn't until he allowed himself to relax again, dropping his arm over Yuusuke because there was really nowhere else for him to put it, that he realized he'd let go of DienDriver.

#

Whew! Finished at last! I'm not gonna lie, that Kamen Rider cuddle puddle at the end is a good chunk of the reason I finally got off my butt and decided to write this.


End file.
